I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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