i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize