I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
