I am puke
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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