how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
