My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
