So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
