In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
