I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
