We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i think i have two assholes
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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