he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm like, not good at living.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
