She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Even my vagina gasped.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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