Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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