They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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