ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Randomize
