Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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