I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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