If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
