So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
