I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
