found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
