Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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