i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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