Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
