She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
