Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
