Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
