She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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