Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
