I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
