Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
