By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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