When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
