For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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