These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
only you would photoshop your dick
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
