dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize