now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
