Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
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