your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
