You really coming over, don't trick.
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
