There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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