my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
