if i can run in heels then i can drive
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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