How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
