I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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