R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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