you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
