I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
