ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
