I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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