i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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