If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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