the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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