I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
