just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
