I cockslap morals
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
