am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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