I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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