Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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