how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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