the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
