strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I need water and some morals
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
