Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
