24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
