i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
