It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
